NEW POLITICALLY CORRECT PHRASES
Robert D. Manewith wrote me this morning, “Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America-- Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians no longer will be referred to as 'HILLBILLIES.' You must now refer to them as “APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS. “
Because I am a short, chubby blonde woman—from now on—please refer to me as a '”Vertically and Horizontally Challenged Light -Haired Detour Off The Information Superhighway.”
Bob sent me some other phrases that are quite funny and I wanted to share them.
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' –
She is a 'BREASTED AMERICAN.'
2. She is not 'EASY' –
She is 'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'
3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' –
She is a 'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'
4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' –
She is a 'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'
5. She does not 'NAG' you –
She becomes 'VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'
6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' –
She is a 'LOW COST PROVIDER.'
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' –
He has developed a 'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'
2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is 'OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'
3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' –
He 'INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'
4. He is not 'BALDING' –
He is in 'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'
5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' –
He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'
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