WHY? I JUST DON’T GET IT.

WHY? I JUST DON’T GET IT. Today’s posting will not be historic, momentous or significant. It is about normal things in life that, “I just don’t get.” Last evening I was at a Shaare Zedek event and I invited my friends Ari and Sarah to Stella Black’s party for the next night. Sarah asked me what time the party was because she needed to go to the airport to pick up a friend. I laughed and told her how I “just didn’t get” the concept of the airport pick up or drop off. People seem to think it is perfectly normal asking for an airport ride. A pal doesn’t say to you, “would you drive me to the grocery store or the cleaners?” but for some reason people have no problem asking for a ride if there is an airplane involved! Why ask me to take hours of my time to drive you around (a round trip to O’Hare from downtown might take me longer than the length of your airplane ride)? Take a cab or the El. I am not your chauffeur!

Our Mothers always told us to wear clean underwear just in case we are in an accident. Hello? If I am in an accident, my body will become soiled with blood from my injuries and my bowels will probably release spontaneously. My undergarments will be filthy from the wounds. One should wear clean underwear every day because it is hygienic. I “just don’t get it,” why historically Mothers have used the accident theory to ensure their children are wearing clean undergarments! On a funny side note, I have an unnamed friend who always goes “commando.” The only time she wears underwear is when she is visiting the doctor. She says it is because the nurse always tells you to undress down to your underwear—so she has to have a pair on or her “Virginia Johnson” will be subject to viewing. Voice mail is more than 40 years old. It is a wonderful concept and serves a useful purpose—to leave a message for someone. Very simple to use by both the caller and the receiver. When a caller leaves a message, the receiver retrieves the message and is supposed to listen to the message. I have friends who never listen to their messages. They just see who called from the Caller ID and call back. I “just don’t get it,” why they refuse to listen to the message! I make the joke that I might have left a message, “Help me, I’ve fallen and cannot get up,” and if they just call back without listening to the message they won’t know why I am not answering the phone. I left a message because I had something important to say; the receiver should be courteous enough to listen to it! The Do Not Walk sign serves a purpose. It instructs people to not walk because cars might be coming. I “just don’t get it,” why so many pedestrians refuse to follow the instructions of the sign! Suburban perambulators do not realize that the Do Not Walk signs are in sync with the street stop lights. Cars with a green turn arrow need to make the turn before traffic starts coming in the other direction. If a pedestrian is crossing the street, obviously the car cannot make the turn and traffic becomes snarled. My friend David, knowing I am about to shriek at the do not walk cheaters, will beg me not to yell out and embarrass him in front of strangers. I do it anyway because I get so frustrated at their stupidity.

With all of the problems the world is facing, my irritation with regard to these insignificant items is laughable. But I have cardio-vascular problems and it is the “little irritating things” that can add up and cause me to burst an aneurysm. By venting today, I have prolonged my life. Thank you.