IT IS FINALLY TIME FOR ME TO GROW UP

IT IS FINALLY TIME FOR ME TO GROW UP On March 27th of this year I wrote a blog called “Jack Dreyfus Dies at 95.” It was the most personal of any blog I have written. To read again, it can be accessed by going to my blog. Go to the blog archive area, click on March and then click on the Dreyfus posting. It will help in understanding this blog, to read that one first. It is now only seven months later as I write this blog about the death of Jack’s son John at age 67 of a sudden heart attack. John was the first real love of my life, and besides my family, the last person who knew me as a young woman. Now that John has died, it is finally time for me to grow up. There are so many stories I would like to share about John and his bigger than life existence, but I have chosen one that explains John’s incredible generosity. John and I lived together on and off for 17 years from 1970-1987. For the past 22 years since then we have been friends. In fact, I was really his only friend besides the housekeepers, cooks, pilots and chauffeurs. It is very complicated when you are someone’s only friend and the pressure can sometimes be quite intense! John had many mental and physical health problems. He was bipolar and his moods swings were sometimes very difficult to handle. When he was in a manic stage, he would be just like Elvis Presley buying cars and jewelry for everyone around him. The pizza delivery girl even got a new Cadillac Escalade one afternoon. Since his credit card had a $100,000 limit there were no boundaries to his shopping once he got started. But it wasn’t all about just spending money; he was also very generous to organizations that worked with children. Before he got so ill when he needed 24 hour care and moved back to New York to live with his Father, John was living in Reno. I would fly back and forth to Reno helping take care of him. John never had to work. The family office in New York paid all the bills and John’s life in Reno consisted of his riding the treadmill, taking walks and watching movies. One afternoon in November of 2000, John and I were watching the movie, “Scent of a Woman.” There is a scene in the film where a blind Al Pacino test drives a Ferrari. John was fascinated by that segment and told me that because he was no longer capable of driving a car, he wanted to buy me a Ferrari. I did not know anything about Ferraris except that the car in the movie looked “pretty” so I said Yes. I was back in Chicago the next week and looked on-line to find where a Ferrari dealership was located. There was one in Hinsdale, so I asked my friend Joe Orlando if he would go with me to buy a car. We drove to Continental Motors late one Friday afternoon, the week before Thanksgiving, and walked into the dealership. I asked where the new Ferraris were because I only saw used ones on display. David Alexander, the salesman we encountered, gently ( holding back the laughter) explained to me that Ferrari only manufactured new models every two years and I could go on a waiting list if I wanted. It did not seem fair that I could not have a new car, but I accepted the fact. I picked an appealing blue one, an F355 Spyder convertible, and said I would like to test drive it. As we pulled out of the dealership and I felt the power of the car, I was scared. David Alexander drove us to a parking lot where I got behind the wheel. I was petrified, but I drove the car. We returned to the dealership. “I have to think about this,” I told the salesman. “Joe and I will have dinner and I will make my decision.” Joe and I drove to a nearby Italian restaurant and I called John from my cell phone. “I cannot get a new Ferrari,” I told him, “maybe I can get a Porsche instead.” The sweat was pouring down Joe’s brow as he heard those words. He couldn’t believe I was turning down a Ferrari! John told me to think about it so I returned to my food. Joe begged me to get the car, until I finally agreed to get it. We drove back to the dealership where I tried to haggle over the price, asked about snow tires and having a cell phone installed. It was very hard, once again, for the salesman not to laugh as he explained that the price was the price, Ferraris cannot be driven in the snow and no outside mechanical equipment like a cell phone could be installed. I left the dealership saying I still wanted to think about it. I got home that night, called John and we discussed the car. He told me how happy it would make him if I bought it because he could never drive a car like that and wanted to live vicariously through my driving the car. I finally told him okay, I would buy the car. Later that evening his Father called me and told me how he thought it was kind of crazy for me to get a Ferrari and instead he would buy me a Buick Park Lane and send me $100,000. Of curse, I would have preferred the $100,000 than a Ferrari, but that is not what John wanted. I phoned John and told him of his Father’s offer and said I knew John wanted me to have the Ferrari and it would be wrong for me to take $100,000 from his Father instead. Maybe it was best if I took nothing. John insisted I buy the Ferrari. The next day I called the dealership and told them I was buying the car. They should fax the paperwork to the Dreyfus office in New York and everything would be taken care of. Salesman David Alexander asked me if I were aware that the routine maintenance was very expensive. I asked how much and he said about $5,000/year over 5 years. I choked and called John who assured me he would take care of the upkeep. The Dreyfus office wired the money to the dealership and set up a $25,000 checking account for me to cover the oil changes for the next 5 years. I picked up the car two days later, the Wednesday afternoon before Thanksgiving. The first place I drove was to the home of my friends Senator Kirk and Stephanie Dillard who lived close to the dealership. I was too afraid to drive the car in rush hour traffic. We ate dinner and then Kirk came with me as I drove the car around the neighborhood to gain confidence. I drove the car home and the next day took pictures that I over-nighted to John. While he was so happy for me to have the car, he was happier with himself for being able to give me the car. I ended up loving that car so much and felt so special every time I drove it. While it was repugnant in a way to be driving such an expensive vehicle when people were starving, I knew John give millions to aid children and I got over my guilt. John loved that I had that car. John could no longer drive himself so the fact that I could drive a Ferrari meant a lot to him. Unfortunately, I had to sell the car after by-pass surgery took veins from my leg and I could no longer handle the power of the engine. John understood why I had to give it up and did not want the money from the sale when I offered it to him. I did all I could to try to help keep John happy in his last years with my friendship and love. I have no regrets that I could have done anything more. Because of him I have gotten to live a life that most people could only dream of and most likely could never even imagine. “Now cracks a noble heart. Goodnight, sweet Prince. And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest."