THE DOGS KIDS LOVE TO BITE (Even kids with chicken pox)

THE DOGS KIDS LOVE TO BITE (Even kids with chicken pox)

The first automobile crash in the United States occurred in New York City in 1896, when a motor vehicle collided with a bicyclist. (U.S. Dept. of Transportation) In 2008, 716 bicyclists were killed in traffic accidents, a slight increase from 2007. In 2008 almost fifty percent of all bicycle deaths happened to children or about 350 fatalities. In 2008, nearly 400,000 children aged 14 and under were treated in hospital emergency rooms for bicycle-related injuries. Why these statistics? So the reader can have a comparison to the next set.

From www.topnews.com, “according to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), hot dogs - one of the most popular foods at amusement parks, parties, and ballgames – are a choking hazard for children; and should, as such, come with a warning label from the manufacturers! Going by statistical evidence, choking is the cause behind over 100 child-deaths of below-14-year-olds in the US every year; out of which more than half are food-related - resulting from the so-called ‘dangerous’ foods like nuts, popcorn, raw vegetables, grapes, large chunks of meat or cheese, gum, marshmallows, hard candy, raisins and peanut butter. "

How many of these choking deaths involve hot dogs? About 17% of cases involve hot dogs, according to a report by the AAP. About 10,000 children go to the emergency for choking of all types. Therefore about 18 children die a year from eating a frankfurter and 350 die from bicycle accidents and the occurrence of hospital visits are 40 times greater from bike riding than from choking. It is very obvious, even to the non-mathematicians, that riding a bike is more dangerous for children than eating hot dogs.

So let us ban all bike riding by children! But bicycle safety is not the hazard of choice right now; it’s hot dogs!

AAP reports, "Food manufacturers should design new foods, and redesign existing foods to avoid shapes, sizes, texture and other characteristics that increase choking risk to children." It said hot dogs are perfectly shaped to "wedge tightly into a child's hypopharynx."

And how are food manufacturers supposed to “re-design” apples, grapes, raisins and vegetables? They are made by Mother Nature, not in a factory! The Mother of a child is supposed to cut up, or help their child slice, large chunks of meat and cheese. The phrase “bite-size” exists because it explains what sized portion one is supposed to swallow. But as Blog fan Dr. Bob commented on an earlier posting my “basic argument is flawed inasmuch as you have pre-supposed basic intelligence in the general population.” I guess people are stupider than I give them credit for.

The real story behind the story that everybody seems to have ignored is how politically incorrect the Armour hot dog jingle was; analyze the words:

Hotdogs, Armour hotdogs.

What kinds of kids eat Armour hot dogs?

Fat kids, skinny kids, kids who climb on rocks.

Tough kids, sissy kids

Even kids with chicken pox

Love hotdogs, Armour hot dogs

The dogs kids love to bite!

The jingle is outrageous! In 2010, a “fat kid” would be horizontally challenged; a “skinny kid” would be proportionally perfect; a “sissy kid” would be considered Gay; and why were the 4 million children who would suffer from Variella every year singled out as pariahs by the phrase, “even kids with chicken pox?” Where is the American Psychiatric Association to help me deal with the trauma of hearing that song during the years I was a horizontally challenged child?

Thinking back now, I am surprised I never choked on my hot dog while listening to it.