OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE? NOT!

OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE? NOT! I am a very fastidious person. That is obvious from my not eating food from street vendors ( Where are they washing their hands?), not going in a swimming pool (I want my face where your feet are?), not swimming in the ocean (Isn’t that where the fish defecate?), getting nauseous when I watch women get their make-up applied at a cosmetic counter in a department store ( the technician is using the same product on everyone!), so one can imagine what it does to me to not be able to shower when I am in the hospital! I am not excessively concerned with cleanliness; I do not have mysophobia or verminophobia. I just like to be reasonably hygienic! There is no “five second rule” for me when food falls on the floor—even if it would be something delicious to recover like a brownie or chocolate chip cookie. My life might not be next to Godliness, but it is as clean as possible. Sunday morning, waiting for my friend Lisa to pick me up to go to Northwestern Hospital, I changed my sheets and cleaned my home—even though the housekeeper was coming in two days. Because of the pain when I am standing and walking, it took me 37 minutes to make a fresh bed because I had to sit down every 45 seconds or so. Swiffering my hardwood floors (3000 square feet!) took another half hour but I could not leave my home knowing there was visible dust to the eye. What if someone came to my home while I was away and saw a mess? I would be humiliated! Because I never cook, the kitchen had no tasks to speak of except to wash the counters. Polishing all the end tables took another 17 minutes and cleaning my desk took 13. I have four bathrooms, but since I only use two of them on a regular basis, I accomplished making them hygienic in less than half an hour. I guess I might have rhypophobia (fear of filth or dirt) but everyone should have that disorder. Who likes dirt? Unless one has pica (medical disorder characterized by an appetite for dirt and other non-nutritive substances) and enjoys eating dirt; there is no use for dirt except as a home for worms! So this week, while I am at Northwestern, the only real fear I will have is athazagoraphobia (look it up!) Not from hospital staff (they are great!) but from the outside world because, as strange as it might seem, the world does not revolve around me!