A recent Chicago Tribune/WGN poll showed that 57% of respondents socialized with their neighbors at least once a week. Are the people who answered this survey living in Mayberry RFD or somewhere? People in downtown Chicago do not want to be friends with their neighbors! There is no upside and the downside can de dangerous.
In my August 5th blog, I castigated the Tribune for doing a poll on what is great about Chicago when I saw they surveyed people from a six county area. I pointed out that people living in the boondocks have as much right to comment on living in Chicago as I do about living in Paris. They don’t live in Chicago and I don’t live in Paris; so keep opinions about those cities to those who live there!
It is the same with this poll about being friendly with the neighbors. Living in Marengo in a single family house is as different from living in a Chicago high-rise as Beirut is from Budapest. The Tribune needs to stop pretending that the six counties that border Chicago have one iota of commonality with the “Big City.”
Quotes in the Tribune story point out exactly why I do NOT want to be friends with the neighbors, they want stuff. "A lot of us depend on each other, especially with our children," said Debra David, 43, of Elgin, whose three children are ages 12, 6 and 5. ”We frankly don't have time. Our lives are so busy with getting our kids back and forth to where they have to be. Most of the time our conversations are, 'Can you get so and so off the bus?'“ I have my own life to live; I don’t want to live my neighbors’ lives also.
The story also included the information that, “Research has shown that social relationships improve health, providing emotional support during major life events or stressful situations. People with stronger social relationships had a 50 percent increased likelihood of survival than those with weaker social relationships, according to a recent study by Brigham Young University’s psychology department.”
While I agree that social relationships can provide help during times of stress (just ask my friends who were my lifeline when I got out of the hospital on two recent visits,) but that does not mean that the friendship has to be with immediate neighbors. Visit me and then drive away. I have lots of friends, I just don’t want them living next door able to do the “pop-in” whenever they feel like it.
After the capture of Ted Bundy, serial killer, the neighbors almost universally said he “was very charming,” “the boy next door,” and “the last one we would ever suspect.” That is reason enough not to become friends with the neighbors.
Being "friends" is one thing, being cordial and polite is a whole other thing. I think regardless if you live in a high-rise or a single family home in Chicago getting to know your neighbors can be a big help in our every day lives. There are many reasons to know your neighbors or at least to know of your neighbors. For example when your NOT home or out of town a good neighbor will watch your place, collect your mail and or packages, water you lawn etc. or you will learn the things that will keep you away from them. Anything less is just being a SNOB!
ReplyDeleteKathy,
ReplyDeleteI gotta say, I completely disagree with you on this. I have befriended many of my neighbors and my immediate next door neighbors is one of my best friends. Like "Anonymous" said, when I left town on vacation, they watched my house and even offered to watch my dog.
They respect my privacy and I respect theirs but we also sit on the porch in the evening, sometimes share dinners, and look out for each other. When my house was broken into last year one neighbor, got suspicious cars license plates and two other neighbors provided descriptions that led to the identification of the robbers.
This year when the storms hit the neighborhoods, neighbors on my block were all outside assessing the damage and helping each other out. And I don't live in Mayberry. I live on the southwest side of Chicago.
I guess we must agree to disagree on this one.
Jason
Esther writes:
ReplyDelete"Two great columns!! Congratulations!!
Delightful to read in both instances."