Two Times Twelve Equals Twenty Four!

In referring to City Hall employees having to take 24 furlough days a year, the Mayor said, “My employees are taking one day a month off. Don’t you think they’re sacrificing? Do you think they want to take it off? No.” Wait? Shouldn’t that be two days a month, not one? In normal circumstances, when one multiples two times twelve, they get 24. Of course, if one is not using the base ten system the results would be different; but I am sure Mayor Daley is only knowledgeable in the one that is in common use. So I wonder how he arrived at that answer to a math question. No gold star for you, Mr. Mayor. And no gold star either for the Chicago Teacher’s Union, who rejected having teachers give up their four percent raise so lay offs could be avoided; forgoing the raise would save about $100 million. Instead, the union said cuts have to come elsewhere. But Ron Huberman, the school’s Chief Executive Officer has said that he has already taken cuts everywhere, including central office firings and changes to bus routes. Muddying up the waters is a federal jobs bill passed last week that could give Chicago Public Schools up to $105 million for teacher’s salaries. But this money would be a one- time windfall and not exist the following school year. So the Union must be thinking that since there might be money for salaries they are not risking that pot by saying they will forgo a raise. Can’t the union do the math either? If the federal pile of money comes in and it is used for raises, there still will not be enough money to halt eliminating hundreds of teaching positions. Four hundred teachers have already received pink slips with another 800 slips waiting to go. In a statement last week, Chicago Teacher’s Union President Karen Lewis accused CPS of manufacturing an “unconscionable, man-made educational disaster” by raising high school class sizes to 33 students and laying off 2,000 teachers and “para-professionals.”

Both sides have their own stories and neither side believes the other. The stand-off reminds me a bit of the “Soup Nazi” episode of The Jerry Seinfeld Show. The “Soup Nazi” himself is the nickname of the titular character played by Larry Thomas. The term “Nazi” is used as an exaggeration of the excessively strict regimentation he constantly demands of the patrons of his “soup only” restaurant. The “Soup Nazi” demands a strict manner of behavior while ordering. As Seinfeld comments in an explanation of the procedure, "It's very important not to embellish on your order. No extraneous comments.” Character George Costanza (Jason Alexander) asks Jerry about a bowl of soup, “Why can't we share?" Seinfeld replies, “I told you not to say anything. You can't go in there, brazenly flaunt the rules and then think I'm gonna share with you." CPS and CTU better learn how to divide the money equitably and come to an agreement soon or “There’s No Soup for Them.”