FINDING JOBS FOR UNEMPLOYED POLITICIANS

The unemployment rate in Illinois will be rising after the November and February election cycles. Many politicians have decided not to run for their old positions like Mayor Richard M. Daley, U.S. Senator Roland Burris, multiple Aldermen and State Reps; while others are seeking different offices, like Illinois Treasurer Alexi Giannoulias who is hoping to become a U.S. Senator. What is one to do when one is a politician being put out to pasture? The losers could always attend one of Independent Gubernatorial candidate Scott Lee Cohen’s job fairs, but most likely would be too embarrassed to wait in a line with 1,000 other unemployed persons. Or they could go to http://www.myskillsmyfuture.org/. This address will lead an out of work politician to a one-stop career web site that is sponsored by the U.S. Department of Labor, Employment and Training Administration. Current government helping has-been government officials seems like it would work. Much better than going to careerbuilder.com where a politician has no clout. The site “helps laid-off workers and other career changers find new occupations to explore. Users can identify occupations that require skills and knowledge similar to their current or previous job, learn more about these suggested matches, locate local training programs, and/or apply for jobs.” The site touts that it can, “Build a bridge to your new Career,” and follows with, “Tell us a job you’ve had. We’ll match your skills to new careers.” There is a boxed area for one to enter their “current or previous job.” So for fun, I entered some job titles and got some interesting results! The matches for some of the other political offices are quite interesting. Enter, “Governor” and the best job match is:

Ship Engineer Supervise and coordinate activities of crew engaged in operating and maintaining engines, boilers, deck machinery, and electrical, sanitary, and refrigeration equipment aboard ship.

(I guess that supervising activities of a crew is analogous to dealing with legislators) Enter, “President” and the two best job matches for outgoing Cook County Board President Todd Stroger are: First-Line Supervisor/Manager of Aquacultural Workers: Directly supervise and coordinate activities of aquacultural workers.

Nursery and Greenhouse Manager: Plan, organize, direct, control, and coordinate activities of workers engaged in propagating, cultivating, and harvesting horticultural specialties, such as trees, shrubs, flowers, mushrooms, and other plants.

(Todling Stroger would not even know what the word aquacultural means, much less be able to do the job.) State Representatives best match with:

Customer Service Representatives: Interact with customers to provide information in response to inquiries about products and services.

(That is exactly what legislators do when dealing with constituents, so this one makes sense.) It is interesting that for, “Mayor” the site feels that education administrator would be a good fit. How did the site know that Mayor Daley took control of the Chicago public schools a number of years ago and is an “expert” in education?

The second best fit is:

First-Line Supervisor/Manager of Office and Administrative Support Workers: Supervise and coordinate the activities of clerical and administrative support workers.

(That is exactly what the Mayor does now, so a job in this field would be a perfect match!)

Unfortunately for Aldermen, City Council members, Senator and Lt. Governor, the site responds with, “Sorry, we did not find any occupation to match. Please enter a current or previous occupation and try again.” OOPs! Those guys are in trouble!

But there are no job matches for prostitutes, drug dealers or thieves either. Very interesting that both groups have no future occupations to match what they currently do. I wonder what the correlation is?