SLASH AND BURN

On Monday,Chicago Inspector General Joseph Ferguson unveiled a 51 page report on how to cut the city’s budget that is really just smoke and mirrors! I could have as pathetically devised a way to cut $250 million if I had just suggested getting rid of the entire public transit system and all garbage pick-up or some other such nonsense.

While previous Inspectors General have not considered the budget part of their job description, Ferguson’s writes in his cover letter, “The IGO is charged by ordinance with promoting economy, efficiency, effectiveness and integrity in the operations of the City government. This report is our first attempt in doing so through the analysis of budget options and is modeled after reports done by both the Congressional Budget Office at the federal level and the Independent Budget Office in New York City.” Will we soon hear that this former U.S. Attorney is running for Mayor? Think Giuliani.

I read through Ferguson’s report, so you don’t have to. Below are my Top Ten favorite pathetic budget slashing ideas that no Alderman would ever agree to.


(1) Eliminate subsidized water and sewer usage for not for profits. (I wrote a blog which facetiously included that thought on October 11th);

(2) Charge a fee for not for profits that receive city garbage collection;

(3) Eliminate free sewer service for seniors;

(4) Eliminate property tax relief grants;


(5) Eliminate the Jumping Jack programs at parks and festivals. ( The alderman already voted against eliminating that 2 years ago.);


(6) Charge for Blue Cart Recycling. (Hardly anybody is using that program now, so if it costs money who will pay for it?);

(7) Eliminate home buying assistance for police officers, firefighters and teachers;

(8) Eliminate city funding for tuberculosis;

(9) Cut traffic aides in the Loop;

And drum roll please for the worst idea to save money:

(10) Reduce fire staffing apparatus to four persons!

If my home ever caught on fire I would want as many responders as possible. I hope Ferguson never smells smoke at his house because they just might let it burn down!