Last week I attended City Clerk Miguel De Valle’s city sticker judging contest. More than 350 artistic drawings by Chicago students were on display in the City Council Chamber and our charge was to pick out our ten favorite designs. Those ten would then be published in the Sun- Times and the public gets to vote on their favorite. The winning design will adorn the city’s vehicle stickers for the upcoming year. Seemingly a fairly benign event. Not if I am in attendance! As I walked around the Chamber, gazing at the pictures, I noticed in front of me was Ronald Holt, the Director of the Community Alternative Policing Strategy office (CAPS.) Not one to shy from danger, I walked up to him and introduced myself.
For those with a short memory, I will remind you that a few weeks ago I, not only wrote a blog about what was happening with the reduction of police officers in the CAPS program, but I did television and newspaper interviews also. I totally “trashed” how the Brass at police headquarters were decimating CAPS.
I started to introduce myself to Holt, but he stopped me saying he knew exactly who I was! Then he started yelling at me, asking me why I did those interviews; basically who the hell did I think I was!
I had two choices, I could argue with him or I could make him my friend. I chose the later. By the end of the evening we were joking like old pals and are getting together after Thanksgiving to talk about CAPS.
My enemy is now my friend and a powerful friend he will be. Something to be thankful for.
(2) MY “PRINCESS DI” POSE
Mayor Daley flew in from Washington, D.C. to attend the ceremony. He had been in the nation’s capital because his wife Maggie was hospitalized there in October. When he entered the ballroom at the Hilton, he looked so sad. After the event he came up and thanked me for my efforts on helping run such a successful event. I hugged him because it looked like he needed it. He called for a photographer. I told him I did not want a picture because I always look fat, but he insisted.
A photographer walked over and I said, “Wait. I need to get into my Princess Di pose.” The Mayor laughed at that as the photographer snapped the picture. He then turned to me and said, “Thank you. I needed a reason to smile.”
(3) PROTESTING SECURITY
I have no problem submitting to a full body scan at the airport. My security is more important than my vanity. Grassroots groups are urging travelers to either not fly or to protest by opting out of the full-body scanners and undergo time-consuming pat-downs instead. How selfish!
My dear friend, Former Congressman Michael Flanagan sent me an e-mail that has been circulating on the Internet that is the solution to the controversy about the full body scans.
Forgive me if you have seen this joke already.
"All we need to do is develop a booth that you can step into that will not X-ray you, but will detonate any explosive device you may have hidden on or in your body. The explosion will be contained within the sealed booth. This would be a win-win for everyone. There would be none of this crap about racial profiling and the device would eliminate long and expensive trials. This is so simple that it's brilliant. I can see it now: you're in the airport terminal and you hear a muffled explosion. Shortly thereafter an announcement comes over the PA system, "Attention Standby passengers, we now have a seat available on flight number..."
A friend who wishes to remain anonymous told me:
“Because I had a knee replacement in the spring, the metal set off the scanner. I went through the full pat down on return from our last trip to Washington, about three weeks ago. It took 18 minutes. I told my wife that the next time we fly, I am going to get one of those two-to-the-pound Vienna hot dogs and tie it securely to the upper inside portion of one of my thighs, giving the patter quite an impression of my manhood.”
If that size were true, his wife would surely have something to be thankful for on Thanksgiving.
(4) JUST OBEY THE LAW
The Sun-Times reported that, “Ald. Scott Waguespack (32nd) is holding a free "Chicago Driver Survival Seminar" on Nov. 30 -- a 2 and ½ hour "boot camp" to help Chicago drivers avoid parking and speeding tickets. The seminar was created by Mike Brockway, known as the Parking Ticket Geek and publisher of theexpiredmeter.com. The seminar will be held at DeVry University, 3300 N. Campbell, Room 220 from 6:30 to 9 p.m. Ald. Tom Tunney (44th) plans another seminar for the second week in January. Ald. Proco "Joe" Moreno (1st) also will sponsor a seminar, Brockway said.”
I can teach people how to avoid parking and speeding tickets in two seconds: park legally and don’t speed.
How stupid does one have to be to sit through a 90 minute seminar on these topics?
I am thankful that I am not so dim-witted!
Sue writes:
ReplyDelete"Always better to have a friend than an enemy...for so many reasons! Good for you. Most people wouldn't have been able to hand it that way. One more thing to admire you about!"