GRAHAM WHICH?

I don’t normally write about restaurants but an experience I had last week at the newly opened Grahamwich was so pathetic I felt compelled to share the story.

James Beard nominee Chef Graham Elliot opened a sandwich shop, Grahamwich, at 615 N. State Street. Elliot is best known for his eponymous Michelin Star restaurant on Huron and his television appearances on "Iron Chef," "Top Chef Masters" and "Master Chef." I find his new shop to be the epitome of the definition of pretentious: “making claim to or creating an appearance of (often undeserved) importance or distinction.”

I dined there last week as a guest of a friend who is a reporter. We did not go until 1:30 to make sure we could eat without a long wait. My impression was less than stellar.


Pretentiousness 1!
Graham Elliot’s natal name is Graham Elliot Bowles. In 2010 he dropped the Bowles. “I'm not changing my name because I got in a fight with my father, or because I want to go P Diddy on everyone," the chef said via e-mail at the time. "It's just easier." His publicist said that the name change came “after a lifetime of confusion and typos." Since his first honor was being named Best New Chef by Food & Wine Magazine in 2004, how has there been a lifetime of confusion about his name? How pompous can someone be to give up their familial last name because of publicity reasons?

Pretentiousness 2!
The web site for Grahamwich states that Elliot created the restaurant to, “Redefine what a sandwich shop could and would be.” A sandwich shop is supposed to be a neighborhood place with good prices and a friendly wait staff. Elliot has certainly succeeded in redefining the concept because his prices are outrageous and the wait staff as pompous as Elliot. Well, there really is no wait staff because one orders from a counter as in any fast food restaurant and then waits for their name to be called to pickup the food wrapped in paper just like any cheap joint.

Pretentiousness 3!
The only seating at the restaurant is a long family table that sits 20 people—all squished together. Or you can eat standing up. Not easy to do. There is no silverware, only plastic sporks. They serve only four types of sodas: ginger citrus, root beer, vanilla kola and lemon grass-lime leaf. There is a communal water pitcher and plastic cups if you don’t chose one of their beverages.

Pretentiousness 4!
There are only eight sandwich choices on the menu and you cannot change anything in a sandwich. Compare that to Jimmy John’s, which has 100’s of combinations of ingredients. I do not eat bread, so I asked for my sandwich choice: beef short rib, to be served on a plate. They refused to do that! But they did give me a spork so I could eat the few pieces of meat off the bread.


Pretentiousness 5!
All of their sides are cutely named with a small g in front of the choice: g’wich popcorn, g’wich chips and g’wich pickles—seasonal veggies. Each side costs $5. The popcorn was stale, the chips not much tastier than ordinary potato chips and the pickles were horrible! Our g’wich pickles ended up being brussel spouts (which I normally love) pickled in some horrible brine. They were barely edible.

Pretentiousness 6!
They only accept cash. Our lunch bill was $33 for two sandwiches, a few sides and no drinks or desserts. While that might not seem like a hefty bill, remember that did not include beverages, sweets or a tip. I don’t see much repeat business at those prices and cash only.


The only good part of the meal was that I got to visit with my friend and was treated for the lunch. I would not recommend this restaurant to anyone!