FOR THOSE SCARED OF NEW TECHNOLOGY, YOU ARE CORRECT!

Phone I wish I had

On Wednesday, I finally bought a new cell phone to bring me into step with the latest technology. Last November, my sister gave me a check to pay for the phone as a birthday gift. It has taken me all these months to build up the intestinal fortitude to go to the Sprint store. I have a new phone and here is the story.

My first step was coordinating my schedule with my friend Ron who wanted to come with me and view the potential disaster of my melt down. We finally arrived at the date of March 16th at 11:00 a.m. Because Ron lives in the suburbs, we then had to figure out if he would park at my apartment building and take a cab to the Sprint store, walk if the weather were nice or he would pick me up and we would park in the Loop. We decided on his picking me up and parking near the store.

My second step was making the appointment on-line and I easily accomplished that. Computer Gigolo Kevin also offered to accompany us and meet us at Sprint during his lunch hour.

The day of the appointment, Ron called me at 8:30 a.m. to tell me that he had a conflict and could not come. His Mother had fallen the evening before, he had spent time in the emergency room with her and now he needed to take her to the doctor instead of coming with me. The story seemed credible to me, so I told him I understood. That was bad omen number one.

I left my apartment and got in a cab to travel to 180 N. La Salle. When we arrived at the bridge to cross over the Chicago River, it was shut for emergency construction. We had to turn around and find another bridge to get us into the Loop. Bad omen number two.

I had left my home early enough to leave myself time to have a cigarette in front of the store to calm my nerves. Now with the extra time spent traveling, I could not do that and be on-time for the appointment. Bad omen number three.

I walked into the store, verified who I was for my appointment and asked for Francisco, a gentleman I had worked with before who knew how to “handle” me. He was not in. Bad omen number four.

Luckily I spotted Joseph who I recognized from a previous visit. I asked if he could be the one to help me. He was available and my luck seemed to be changing for the better.

Joseph patiently showed me the various options of phones. I decided to choose the one that he personally used figuring since, as an employee, he he could have any phone he wanted; he would obviously have the best one. It was the EVO 4G. I decided to buy that one. It was $450, but I could get a $150 rebate. (Which we know I will never receive!)

We walked to the counter and the first thing we did was my paying for the phone and filling out the rebate card. Just then Kevin walked in and I showed him the phone for approval before buying. He agreed that I made a good choice.

It took me FOUR times before I filled out the rebate card correctly. Kevin, Joseph and I were laughing together at my stupidity, so a bond was formed.

I then had to make a decision on what kind of monthly package I wanted. I don’t remember now what plan I picked, I just knew that I decided I did not need to keep the two other cell phones that just sat at home as emergency back-up, I wanted to cancel them.  That s not so easy.

Joseph could not cancel the other phones. I had to call Sprint billing to do that. So I stood in a Sprint store, calling Sprint to let them know of my desire. The woman I spoke to was very nice but I had to answer a million questions on why I did not want to keep the additional lines anymore. I went into a whole long explanation, (with Kevin and Joseph laughing in the background,) when I just should have told her it was none of her business. Just cancel me! But I was too nice for that.

Before Joseph could start his tutorial, I had to read the disclosure agreement on a little machine at his station. Even with my glasses I could barely see the print. I just scrolled through it, accepted it and hope I did not agree to anything that I will regret later.

I did decide to buy the total equipment protection package for $7/month in case I ever lost or damaged the phone. This package includes GPS if I need to locate my phone. I know that warranty packages are a waste of money, but I was caught up in the moment.

I also bought protective films for the screen and a hard case so I would not “butt dial” people like various friends of mine do to me all the time. They shall be nameless.

When Joseph took me over to look at the Bluetooth accessories there were too many choices, so I am saving that for another day.

The dreaded tutorial time had arrived. I told Joseph and Kevin that we need to sit down and walk through my list of items slowly together. Here are some items from my list:

How to make a call. How to answer a call.
How to put in new phone numbers.
How to change ring tones.
How to text. How to change font size. Heat stylus?
How to set up voice mail, how to listen to voice mail.
How to send e-mail. How to download and view attachments.
How to store e-mail addresses. How to save e-mails.
How to use the scheduler.
How to use the memo recorder.
How to take pictures? How to look at picture mail?
How to access apps.
Do I have GPS?
Voice recognition dialing?
Speaker phone?
Conference call?
How to switch to another call?
How to watch TV?

I then discovered I had to set up a G-Mail account for some reason, which I did, but I don’t know why. So I have a G-Mail account that I don’t even know how to access, so don’t send me an e-mail on it.

Joseph started showing me how to do the items on my list. I spent three hours with him and I basically know just how to answer the phone and text. That is not Joseph’s fault, it is mine. I forgot how to do everything already.

 I made sure to let store manager Victor know how wonderful Joseph was because I did not want him to get in trouble for spending so much time with me.

When Joseph showed me how to get on the Internet, I went to my own web site and impressed him with pictures of me and the Cardinal, Mancow and Jerry Springer. I promised him a Springer t-shirt the next time I came in to the store as an incentive for him to continue to be nice.

Joseph at Sprint Store

I took Joseph’s picture on my new phone so I could use it on this blog, but I could not figure out how to transfer it. Luckily Kevin took a picture and e-mailed it to me the old fashioned way on my computer.

Three hours, I finally reached technology overload and left the store. Kevin is having dinner with me on Friday to continue the tutorial.

So while the experience started badly, it ended with me finally getting a new phone—something I have tried to do for months and could not muster the strength to do. So if you call me and I don’t answer, that does not mean I am not around. It just means I messed up and will call you back from my land line. Also, don’t text me for a few days because I lied when I said earlier that I knew how to do it!  I don't know how to do anything on the phone, but it is very pretty.