THE FAT SQUABS ARE EVERYWHERE!

My mother loved me and my sister very deeply; but she was hardly fond of other people’s children.  She referred to them as “fat squabs.”  Because she has passed, I cannot ask her how she decided on that description, but it is one I also use when referring to children.  I love visiting with the children of my friends, but I have to admit that I am happy when they go home.  Strange children in public places are abhorrent to me.  I don’t care about your children.

Unfortunately for me, we have become a “Mommy-Centric” nation, where it is permissible for mothers to bare their breasts in public and allow their children to suckle at the source.  I understand that babies need to be fed, but do it in privacy; I sure don’t want to see it!

My feeling is if someone decides to have a child, she should be responsible for taking care of it and not expect “the village” to help.  The latest trend in child care is for restaurants, stores, salons -- all places I frequent—to have child-friendly areas for mommies to be able to drop off the squabs while they go about their errands. 

The Chicago Tribune recently published a story about this subject where they explained the need for “kid friendly” retail. 

“Every errand becomes a logistical calculation for parents: Spend money on a sitter and watch the clock while you're out, or bring the children, hoping they won't draw too much attention.

But a number of stores, restaurants, even salons, are providing toys, books and other distractions, making it easier for parents to take along their tots. An upscale River North restaurant brings Disney-loaded portable DVD players to the table, while a women's clothing store in Lincoln Square has toys near the dressing room so moms can — imagine this — try on clothes uninterrupted.”

Why should I care if every errand becomes a logistical calculation for parents?  They choose to be parents; they should have made plans on how to care for the squab before it was born.

Sara Youngblood-Ochoa, who writes the online newsletter Macaroni Kid Chicago Loop, said in the Tribune story that “businesses are finding new ways to welcome children.”  She pointed out a car dealership with a playroom of toys and a television. "The purchasing of a car can be a tedious process," she said. "I thought, 'That is very smart.'"  I agree that purchasing a car is a wearisome project, but it is unwise for a parent to take a child along for that ride.

Keep your children at home until they are old enough to conduct themselves properly in public.  Don’t make the rest of us watch them having a tantrum.  Not my problem!

If a parent decides to bring her children to a kid- friendly store, where there are strangers all around, anything can happen.  Don’t be surprised if you hear a mommy cry out, “A dingo ate my baby!” when it disappears.