Education should not stop when we leave institutions of learning. No matter what one’s age, there are fascinating things to be learned every day. I eve solve math puzzles at night before I go to sleep to exercise my brain. I love Kakuro—these are mathematical logic puzzles at a level of difficulty much harder than the Suduko grids one sees in the newspaper. So when a friend used the phrase, “fetch bill,” in reference to some upcoming legislation, I was fascinated and had to learn what it was.
The concept of a “fetch bill” is that politicians submit a bill that would have a negative financial impact on a certain group, like new taxation, with the knowledge that members of that particular group would start lobbying them (substitute the words “donate money to their campaign” for lobbying) to withdraw the potential legislation. “Fetch bill” is the phrase used in Illinois. In California it is called a “juice bill” and in other states “milker bills.” How naïve have I been never to have known this information? And how disgusting is it that politicians do this?
Research on the term “fetch” lead me to discover a website of catch phraseshttp://www.doubletongued.org that is 1050 pages long. I became fascinated by scrolling through the pages and learning words and phrases that had been conceived for circumstances where no phrase had existed before. Two of the phrases are actually mine. See if you can guess which are “official” words and phrases and which are the ones I invented.
Probability entertainment- Spending your entertainment dollars at a casino instead of at the theater or a concert hoping for the probability of winning.
Seagen- A noun describing a vegan that eats seafood.
Broccoli journalism- Being forced to read stories by journalists that are supposed to be good for you.
Profestival- A combination of a protest and a festival. In Seattle they hold an annual Hempfest where people party while protesting the marijuana laws.
Momarazzi- At school events where all the Moms have their cell phones out and are taking pictures.
Sagantis of the ass- When the lower half of one’s body becomes almost “frozen” from sitting at their desk chair for hours and not moving.
Dittoism- Everyone thinking the same thought.
Do you know which ones are on the double-tongued site and which ones I invented? E-mail me your thoughts.
We (one-time) journalists call them “fetchers” with the meaning a bit broader. In addition to looking for contributions — direct or indirect — fetchers could be used as bargaining tools, i.e., if you kill your bill (that damages my pals, etc.), I’ll kill mine. Legislative trades are as old, most likely, as the first parliament or Runnymede in 1215.
ReplyDeleteAnother legislative term-of-art is the shell bill. It is merely a title, perhaps but not necessarily indicating its subject. The purpose, to some extent, is to get around the three readings on three different legislative day the General Assembly is supposed to give each bill. This way, when a fetcher or some other bartered deal is ready to go, the text is inserted in the shell bill, that already has had two readings, and can be called up for passage.